To call this project merely a film would limit its impact. It is a symphony of loneliness, despair, fear, disgust, disillusionment, and ultimately transcendent joy that comes from escaping the narrow confines of one’s world view. This was a film that I intended to direct, but rather it directed me instead. Shot by shot, I was shown that the patterns of this universe were guiding me to a place that was open and free. The landscape changed, the people changed, and finally the music changed, and I said “by God, I’ve finally woken up from my fevered dream and have broken into a reality that really matters.” I think of my friend MC who committed suicide in 2016, and I realize now that I have been given a purpose to do what she cannot: to live, to create, to love, and to seek out human connection because I am nothing without it.
Directed by Jack Merrill (USA)